You may find that the things you left where you thought you left them are not there anymore. You may have gone off to war and returned to find your wife with another man. This is not our fault, you're not covered for this, there's nothing we can do about any of it. Feel free to lodge a complaint at the desk, to file a complaint at the lodge, to remain compliant with the rules at all times.
You might feel shortchanged, shortsheeted, or like you were shortsighted when you made your arrangements. This is to be expected. No one could have foreseen what happened to your luggage and your poor dog. It was unfortunate, but unavoidable, unfortunately. It was very cold in the bottom of the plane, and very hot on the tarmac outside the plane while everything was getting loaded in.
This is not a space for you to grieve, to air your grievances, or to concern yourself with circumstances thatr are out of your control. We have only begun to fuck you. You may find youself being held down and fucked, by us. We wish to remain nameless. Half of all people we have driven to tears have caught a bus back that same day. All connections have been made, all transfers have been supervised, all supervision has been transferred to another department.
There may be some figures appearing at the edge of your vision - do not be alarmed. There may be some alarms being configured - this is normal. As they are calibrated, you may notice a change in cabin pressure. Don't let it go to your head, your heart, or your lungs, as this could prove fatal. You have one chance to prove that you are not who we say you are, or rather to prove that you are who we say you aren't. This all may seem confusing, but it will all come out in the wash, it will be thrown out with the bathwater, it will be rinsed out when you use the shampoo in the shower.