Saturday, February 23, 2013


I'm, I'm not sure how to to take this. Should I ingest it? Should I take it in jest? Not sure what's best. Does it come in a capsule? Or a tablet? A gelcap, perhaps. It will go down easier if you take it with water. Take it with food. Take it with you when you leave, and leave the place better than you found it. Don't take advice from anyone, least of all me. Best of all, or rather most importantly of all, you should always get a second opinion, try to get the best of both worlds, but don't let the world get the best of you. Save the best for last, but save the rest, make it last. Lastly, get bed rest when you're flagging, and hail a cab or a taxi, flag down a ride if the walk is too taxing.

Allow me to interject, to inject my point of view, to jog your memory with running commentary. In the event that your vices become viselike, use whatever is close at hand to devise a strategy. Close your hand around the device that lights up your face, that delights you. Everyone likes you. I can't say I blame them, even when I do blame them, I just can't talk about it I guess. I'm getting off-track, I wish I had kept better track, kept notes. I wish I had given my all, paid more attention, gotten a better lease on life, gotten better at selling myself.

These are the last pair I have, and they've got holes in them, they've been worn through, they're worn out, they're just worn. I wore them across town one too many times, I second-guessed myself, I retraced my steps. The laces are fraying, my brain is fried. I tried a third time and the charm wasn't what I expected, it was cheap and plastic, it was a temporary tattoo from an egg in a machine in the laundromat, it was a permanent marker from the dollar store, it was a transient sense of purpose in an intransigent setting. (I think I used that correctly.)

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

i stay staying sane

This seems as good a time as any to advise you, to keep you apprised of what you should expect from this experience. It may seem like you haven't got what you asked for, and that you may have in fact gotten more than a few things you didn't ask for, and then a whole lot of things you specifically asked not to get. From what I understand to what I know, this is how it goes, whether it be the story or the way. There is more than one way.

Inside, in the deepest parts, the places leaped over for years, there is a sound that grows, unwatered, a shrilling, a seeking tone that needs its own ear to speak into. Everyone has it. I don't know what you do if you don't know what to do with it, I can't begin to imagine what to do if there is no outlet, from the outset there needs to be a valve, I think, otherwise when the day closes up, when the sun sets and your head rests on a couch, how do you keep from having it all come up and out your mouth?

So I would encourage, if I can, I would urge you to work to find a way to encapsulate, or at least channel (like a switch, river, or medium) whatever keeps you upright, whatever keeps you up at night, however you are able to. I would say it is all any of us have, but I think we all have a lot less than that sometimes, and at times the grimy stuff gets in your eyes, grit in the engine, sugar in your gas tank, it can fuck you up big time, in no time, everything at the same time. 

Sunday, February 10, 2013

If we never speak again,

"This might be the last time you ever hear from me" would be an ominous way to start a post. It would conjure up all the wrong images, it could conceivably be injurious, it would be spurious and unthoughtful. I would never start a post that way. I would never dream of toying with your emotions, I hold you in too much esteem, and it's totally avoidable. On second thought, let's be real, I might dream of it, I might have a flight of fancy, I might at some point take a fancy flight from point A to points unknown. I might be likened to an animal of some kind, one that roams, but rarely unpredictably, a simple proof would describe my patterns, but I would be ridiculous to try and pigeonhole.

I might purchase a plane ticket at some point, as I mentioned earlier, and "get out of the city" as so many people yearn to do. I'm not awash in cash, it could ruin me, I wouldn't think twice though, I would think at least three times, I don't understand why you don't understand, or if you do understand, then I haven't been fair, and I promise to try to be more fair.

Just tell me what you want from me. I understand that you think I should already know. But believe you me, if I already knew, you would be the first to know, and you would have what you wanted from me, if it were something I were able to give, if I wanted to give it to you. I'm not sure you'll take my meaning, but I'm going to leave instructions. The trail of breadcrumbs that is not in a proverb, but rather a fairy tale. This isn't fair, it's foul, it's gone south, it's gone bad, it's good for nothing, it's nothing special, it's especially terrible. Whatever. 

Friday, February 8, 2013

30 seconds of writing about Space Ships

Times like these, all you can really do is draw the curtains and put on a movie about space, and pretend you're inside a spaceship, and the screen is like the front of the ship or whatever, which I'm not entirely convinced that having windows in the front of a spaceship is a good idea, especially in the front, but I guess the contrary theory, the prevailing wisdom is that windows on the front of a spacecraft are ok, because look at the actual space shuttle, which is I guess a real thing.

I mean I get that you want to be able to look where you're going, even when you're hurtling through the blackness of uncharted space. Is hurtling the word I want to use here? "Hurtling" always sounded to me like it had an end-over-end quality to it, like "tumbling". But anyway, as you're hurtling through space, yeah it's great to have charts or wheteve so you technically know where you are, but you want to be able to look out the front of the ship.

Isn't it probably accurate to assume that at some point technology will be developed which provides you with a large-screen view of what a camera mounted on the front of the spacecraft would be seeing? I mean they have those cameras in the backs of most SUVs now that allow you to parallel park. Basically the same idea. I don't know, glass in the front of the spaceship...even thick glass, or plastic....

So that's what I'm talking about, is if there are cameras in the front of the spacecraft, and all science fiction just takes for granted that that's what they're looking at in Star Trek or whatever, not out the front of a giant potentially vulnerable window/windshield, then it's really very similar to watching a scifi movie on your home entertainment center. Space shuttle glass notwithstanding. This may not seem important to you but it's tearing me apart. Windows on the side, maybe.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Today's 30 Seconds of Writing, GO

It is is unimaginable, to me, that you haven't been made aware of the recent developments taking place in current world history. Form climate change to legality of choosing mates, there are literally hundreds of millions of bits of news that you could be chewing up and digesting and instead you're just sitting there, just sitting there...what is it you're doing there anyway.

I noticed that you've got a small bit of something caught in your teeth. Perhaps it snuck its way into your feed and you just didn't notice. I'll have to change the settings on your feed before I strap it back onto your head. Did you know they're going to make glasses that have the Internet in them. You can walk down the street with them on. You can be here but not really be here.

I can't help but comment on the fact that you haven't told me the point yet. What is the object. I know what the subject is, but not what my objective is. I decline to accept the charges, everything is declining, I'm climbing but I'm not getting any higher up on the ladder, as it were, as it is, as it was.

I have no desire to repeat myself. I do not wish to repeat myself. Please listen because I don't want to repeat myself. I have no wants, desires, or wishes outside of not wanting to repeat myself.

30 seconds of writing per day

You may find that the things you left where you thought you left them are not there anymore. You may have gone off to war and returned to find your wife with another man. This is not our fault, you're not covered for this, there's nothing we can do about any of it. Feel free to lodge a complaint at the desk, to file a complaint at the lodge, to remain compliant with the rules at all times.

You might feel shortchanged, shortsheeted, or like you were shortsighted when you made your arrangements. This is to be expected. No one could have foreseen what happened to your luggage and your poor dog. It was unfortunate, but unavoidable, unfortunately. It was very cold in the bottom of the plane, and very hot on the tarmac outside the plane while everything was getting loaded in.

This is not a space for you to grieve, to air your grievances, or to concern yourself with circumstances thatr are out of your control. We have only begun to fuck you. You may find youself being held down and fucked, by us. We wish to remain nameless. Half of all people we have driven to tears have caught a bus back that same day. All connections have been made, all transfers have been supervised, all supervision has been transferred to another department.

There may be some figures appearing at the edge of your vision - do not be alarmed. There may be some alarms being configured - this is normal. As they are calibrated, you may notice a change in cabin pressure. Don't let it go to your head, your heart, or your lungs, as this could prove fatal. You have one chance to prove that you are not who we say you are, or rather to prove that you are who we say you aren't. This all may seem confusing, but it will all come out in the wash, it will be thrown out with the bathwater, it will be rinsed out when you use the shampoo in the shower.