Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Always Carry Proper ID

It is punishable offense to walk around New York City without Proper ID. To live, to amble about, to be ambulatory without a state-issued picture of yourself which confirms that You are Yourself in the eyes of the state, can land you in hot water.

In large buildings, employees are issued pictures of themselves which confirm their identity. They wear them around their necks, often proudly, as if to say "I am me, I am Myself, and this picture proves it."

It is possible to display personal identification without possessing personal identity.

Perhaps all creatures, great and small, should be required to have ID on them At All Times; photograph, name and title. FIDO and beneath that, DOG. It could be someone's job to go around nailing pictures of trees to trees, confirming them as trees, eliminating any doubt, guesswork, or potential fraud. Men in coveralls and jetpacks, affixing signs to clouds using future methods of adhesion we could not currently understand.

When you die (I think I should make it customary to end every blog entry with this sentence), your loved ones will be summoned to Identify your corpse, assuming of course that you have not been too badly burned, torn apart, or otherwise mutilated. Because you will be dead, and unable to say "I am Me! I am who I say I am!" And even if you could say that, if you died without ID on you, it wouldn't make any difference.

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