Sunday, September 8, 2013

This was printed on the back of the pack of gum I just bought

We're looking for the next big thing, we're not sure what the last big thing is, but we're relatively confident in our ability to identify big things. There's something on the horizon that's coming up, it's gonna be big; right now it's shapeless, looming. We're ready for it to envelop us all. It will be a benevolent enveloping, a security envelope with a window, a maximum security envelope. We will spend 23 hours a day inside it. There will be a bubble; and as before, you will expand with it until it bursts.

I'm not sure you undersatand, sir, the idea of the Rewards card. You do not get a reward simply for signing up for the card; although many people who are unable to provide a phoine number and hence do not qualify for the rewards card may consider owerrship of the card itself to be a significant reward, being as it is unattainable/unobtainable by/to them. You get nothing, right away. You get nothing right away (immediately). But over time, after you buy our products, we will periodically reward you, over time, with the chance to buy further products at a reduced rate, and this is your reward - the opportunity to buy more products. Treasure this.

I don't want to twist your arm here, I don't mean to put you on the spot. I'm not trying to back you into a corner or anything. I want to make this as easy on you as possible. I'm not looking to make enemies, I think we should all take a chill pill, smoke a peace pipe, and just take it easy. We should just take it slow, take it as it comes, play it by ear, not think too much, don't overthink things. I'm not trying to rake you over the coals or throw you under the bus. This isn't a witch hunt, I'm not on a crusade, we're not making martyrs out of anyone. I don't want to rub anyone the wrong way, or go against the grain. Usually this kind of thing goes off without a hitch or a raised eyebrow. Usually nothing untoward occurs, nothing pops up, no red flags.

There are cats screaming in the yard. I can't ever tell if a cat is screaming in a cat pain compliance fight, or if it's just the sound of cats mating or cats in heat. From what I have read, the sounds are virtually identical. I have seen diagrams of a cat's penis, which show the penis to have little barbs or hooks on it, so once it is inserted, it can't easily be backed out. I don't know why I was ever under any circumstances shown diagrams of a cat's penis, either in school or by anyone else, but it's now information that I have that I'm pretty sure is true but may or may not be true.

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